Friday, October 5, 2012

Day 5 Screwups and Recovery

I'm learning.

In a conversation with my girls the other day I pointed out that grown ups make mistakes all the time.  We're not immune from error simply because we're older or more experienced.  Instead life continues to be one long experience of screwups and recovery.  Today is a perfect example.

My recent shift in job responsibility means acting as a site liaison between my office site, and my corporate office down in Florida and because I end up telecommuting - communication by email is an essential part of my job.  Today my boss asked me to send him an overview of the organization set up for the site where my office is - and discreetly find out the reporting structure of the PM's.  I was elated - it was one of the first things I would do in my new I typed out the info, used my outlook OR chart to verify the information was current and correct - and hit send.

Now let me preface this with - there was (thankfully) no private/secure/scandalous information that was not already public knowledge -

Not even two minutes after I hit send, my boss returned furious that I'd forwarded on his email to our COO.  It took me a minute to realize what I'd done!  In using my outlook heirarchy lists - I had inadvertantly included this man onto my response to the email.  My heart dropped to my stomach.  I seriously felt ill.  I apologized profusely to my boss for my oversight and then I sat and flogged myself a bit for how dumb a mistake that was.  Seeing that I've not worked in a role like this before - I wasn't even sure of the right etiquette of how to deal with it. 

I left work sick to my stomach - my first request and I was already screwing up!  I called my mom for her advice since she's worked in middle management for a while - and she lamented a bit with me, while agreeing that my apology was sufficient and I just had to let it go and move on.  Letting go would be harder than I thought - I carried that sick feeling with me as I went to meet a friend who'd asked me to dinner.  D was funny and made me laugh about it!  He regaled his own experiences in his line of work with similar situations and made me feel so much better. 

Both D and my mom offered me similar advice - and it made me realize how much like repentence and acceptance of the Atonement this situation is (see I'm still working on it!)  Letting go of it after apologizing and internally making up my mind to double check email to and CC: lists in the future is like repentence.  Once done, it's done.  The only one carrying on with it is me.  I know there will be some small chips that will fall (like an email from our COO asking why my boss needs the OR charts/and PM reporting heirarchy), but acceptance that it was an oversight, and leaving it at that is like taking on the Atonement. 

That sick feeling every time I think about it - it's just the reminder that it was wrong - and I'm assuming with time that will go away, tho the lesson will remain forever.  We screwup - but the part I need to remind myself about is that it's recoverable.  and Recovery is all about my attitude.....

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