I'm not watching Conference this time during the live times. I'm planning other things. I'm doing other things. And I don't feel the slightest bit bad.
The past few years I have purposely pushed for our family to sit and listen to conference - sometimes it was inspiring, sometimes it was more naptime than anything. I've been trying to work out my feelings about some church-related things. So this year, I'm not pushing anything.
Since I teach the Teaching For Our Times (TFOT) class on the fourth Sunday, I will at some point be reading them, listening to them, and studying them - but not this weekend.
Speaking of TFOT - this month our lesson comes from Elder David S. Baxter's talk "Faith, Fortitude, Fulfillment: A Message to Single Parents", and I have read and re read it many times. Each time the quote:
"Take courage. Have faith and hope. Consider the present with fortitude and look to the future with confidence."Rings out to me. I know I'll post my lesson a little later in the month, but I just had to say to all my other TFOT friends out there who are struggling with this lesson and how to present it when the ward doesn't have a lot of single parents - we all serve or feel alone as a parent from time to time, especially as women. We do not know, and cannot suppose the battles that some are facing within the walls of their marriages and homes. This lesson is for all of our members because we all experience moments of alone-ness. It may not be until we are widowed or separated by other experiences, but I can say being a single parent in a family-oriented church is a daunting task and overcoming the feelings of failure, and despair are much harder than I ever knew. I struggle to relate, to stand firm, to be faithful.